It can often feel like we have no say in what happens to us. Some people are lucky, some people are not. You are either one or the other and that is that.
While we do all have differing circumstances, you have much more say than you realise about how good your life will be. In this blog I will give you tips on how to stop heading towards your default future to start living a created life.
Two men visit a neighbourhood, looking for advice. They meet one of the residents.
The first man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”
The resident asks: “How was your old town?”
“It was terrible. Everyone was mean. I hated it.”
To that, the resident replies: “This town is much the same. Don’t move here.”
After the first man leaves, the second man enters and says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. How is it?”
Again, the resident asks: “What was your old town like?”
“It was wonderful. Everyone was friendly. Just looking for a change.”
The resident replies: “This town is very much the same. I think you will like it here.”
Your thoughts will impact what kind of life you have because what you are looking for is what you will see. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Here’s how to make sure you have the kind of life you want.
The first step is to identify what kind of beliefs you hold:
Do you see the world as a good place or a bad place? I saw a FB post when the riots happened in the UK which was asking for helpers, there were thousands of people who came out with sweeping brushes. There is a lot of good in the world if we look for it.
We can also look for the good and the capabilities in ourselves. If you are not feeling good enough, it may be because you have spent a lot of time focussing on the reasons why you are not.
What stories are you telling yourself that could be holding you back?
Next you can change those beliefs.
After you realise you have been limiting yourself or your experience of life by the words you speak and what you are focusing on you can decide to pick new beliefs – be kind to yourself in this process, if you have been believing the world is a certain way for a while and it has become your default, it can take time to shift perspectives.
What new stories could you be telling yourself?
Now give weight to the new story. You can start looking for evidence that things are different. You can look for where people are helping each other for example– in the pandemic we have seen lots of evidence of neighbourhoods coming together to support each other. You can also recall all that you have accomplished in your life. I love to get my clients to talk about all the things they are good at – it’s always more than they realise!
It is then really important to remember and repeat the new beliefs. As I mentioned, we have most likely formed a habit of always defaulting to the negative so it is important to push against this by actively filling your brain with the good things about yourself and the world.
And then start taking action to create the future you want.
Let me know what you found most helpful about this article and if you need any support with seeing your world differently then send me a message, I would love to help.